Thereâ€™s a lot of anti-intuitive laws out there – suicide laws, affirmative action, progressive taxes, sodomy laws â€“ but the one that makes the absolute least sense to me is this crazy pedestrian-right-of-way horsecrap. And donâ€™t even get me started on cyclists. You know who has the right of way? The guy behind the wheel of 3500 pounds of steel hurtling down the street. You know what trumps that? An 18-wheeler. And guess what cars and trucks donâ€™t mess with. Thatâ€™s right. Trains.
I donâ€™t drive on the sidewalk. If I did, Iâ€™d get in a lot of trouble. Because sidewalks are for walking. If Iâ€™m walking, and I want to cross the street, I look both ways to make sure there arenâ€™t any enormous piles of metal speeding toward me. Cars arenâ€™t bats or crackheads. Theyâ€™re fairly predictable and tend to travel in relatively straight trajectories. It’s a hell of a lot easier for you to not put your foot on the asphalt than for me to slam on my brakes so you can get to Van Puffinstuffâ€™s Candles and Mirror Shoppe six seconds faster.
If you’re the kind of person that steps in front of a moving car because you think you have the right of way, you’re probably the kind of person who thinks they have the right of way wherever they go. But let me tell you, if you get hit by a car, you deserve it for not staying out of its god damn way. Believe it or not, there’s something that deserves even more respect than you, you pompous entitlement-happy douche. It’s called physics.