A woman walked into a police station in the outback Wednesday, claiming to be an all-grown-up and not-digested-at-all Azaria Chamberlain, the “dingo ate my baby” baby.

She said she had flashbacks to when she was nine weeks old and found herself between the jaws of a dingo.

I have that same flashback all the time. Except it’s not a dingo. It’s Goofy at Disneyworld, and that felt covered bastard won’t stop tickling me.

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