except there’s also a little cough. Sweet Jesus, I love this. It’s like watching that bear do kung fu, only it pisses people off.

On a related note (notes?), if my college roommate had seen this girl on YouTube, I never would have heard the end of it. But then, if the internet had been invented back then, I’d never have left my room.

Me: Will these pills make me tall?

Dr: No.

Me: Good looking? Thin?

Dr: No.

Me: Grow my hair back?

Dr: No.

Me: Make me appear to have a nice car, big house, successful career or anything else that’ll make me attractive in any way as I enter the winter of my life alone?

Dr: No.

Me: The strength of ten men, like crank?

Dr. No.

Me: But a possible side effect is depression.

Dr. Yes.

Me: Maybe I wasn’t clear earlier…

This is why the first thing I ask a woman when I meet her is “Are you an alcoholic?” Then it’s, “Do you like Bruce Springsteen?” And now I have to add, “How much do you like Bruce Springsteen?”

True story, actually. They don’t care for it, but I’ll be damned if I go down that road again. That Thunder Road. Yeah. I said it. I don’t give a shit.

#219

“This is a really long date.”

This is a short documentary about the wall painting advertisers of NYC, produced by the fine folks at Mother. Because they don’t have anything better to do I guess than go out and make documentaries now. Anyway, it’s 12 minutes, and it’s gorgeous and heartbreaking. And for some reason I want a Stella. Wait a minute… SON OF A BITCH!

Eating sweets may make you feel less stressed out temporarily. “Eating sugars and starches has an opiate-like effect on the brain,” Northrup says.“It dulls the pain for a while.”

So much potential. Such a terrible, terrible, terrible trailer.

#219: The Star Wars Wampa Rug.