Apparently everything is better autotuned. Even Carl & Steven.

This is 7 minutes of your life you’ll never get back. But it is 7 minutes that will illustrate that we have seen the abyss, and jumped in head first.
p.s. I’m moving to New Zealand.

I stopped having that feeling a long time ago, and come to think of it, I was always wrong anyway. But these kids in Canada have put some effort into making a video for the Black Eyed Peas song in one take that clearly took some effort.

Microsoft has a history of these inane videos, but I think this one may actually be endorsing having a party to celebrate the launch of Windows 7. And make sure it’s diverse.

but this baby dances to Beyonce better than anyone all year.

So your sister goes on Oprah and tells the world she was having an affair with your dad after he stopped raping her. Naturally, you have a completely rational response.

Dark and stormy versions of all your favorite Disney gals. Always a favorite for the frustrated nerd.

Chris O’Donnell overcomes a horrifying motorcycle accident where his head is twisted clean off to become some sort of gun-toting rapper’s sidekick in North Carolina Is: Los Angeles.

She’s a duck. Wearing a wedding dress. In a duck fashion show.

Fantastic

It’s like one of those Tex Avery cartoons where the wolf’s eyes bug out of his head. And that’s her fiance.

And I like going too far. That’s why this cartoon makes me giggle every time I read it.

And it fills the black hole left by a lifetime of failure. Also, goes on biscuits.

A coworker mentioned this classic chestnut yesterday, and watching it again, ten years later, I got nostalgic for the days when this was in fact all true. Now, the wonton waste that made the excess and bullshit of the process so primed for parody (is it parody if it’s spot on, with only the inner/outer dialog transposed?) has all but been replaced with a fast-food drive through mentality. I was just a little boy in the biz when it looked like “Truth In Advertising” but I sat in enough meetings and edit suites as a junior copywriter to know it was true. I’m sure for those last few agencies and accounts that have the luxury to only lie to each other out of spite, it’s still like that. For most of the rest of us, however, reduced to being order taking vendors too terrified to have egos, it’s more like this.

This Boston version of Mad Men makes me giggle, and not just because it’s got Joey McIntyre in it.

This has got to be the worst punishment I can think of. I’m not sure how a “hate crime” is any worse than a “non-hate-based random beating,” but I do know I love hash brown casserole.

If Meatloaf made a baby with Peter Jackson, but instead of coming out twice as awesome, it came out smothered in hot trash.

It’s like I got trapped in Farrell’s, but didn’t get any ice cream.

Arguably attractive woman convinced police pull her over just to gawk at her. I’m sure she’s not actually speeding. (p.s. I hate her. Also may or may not be a man.)

One of the better tilt shift videos I’ve seen, because it shows someone swept out to sea. And I like the music.

Just another amazing costume from this year’s Dragon*Con, complete with step by step guide on how to make your own Bioshock bad guy.

One of the potholes of working inside the marketing machine is you see how the sausage is made every day. Which is not a good thing for someone who loves sausage.

When you know for a fact that some of the popular and accepted story is not true, eventually, you can’t help but suspect everything’s a lie, which is why ad people tend to be the most cynical people you’ll come across. Our whole life is spin. I’ve seen too many press releases reported as hard news to ever trust any paper again. And don’t even get me started on magazines. Just like I’ve seen to many people lie to each other and maybe even themselves to trust any person completely. I may be stupid, but I’m not that stupid.

In honor of this annual day of sloth, be glad you’re not at the Texas State Fair, because you’d have to be loading up on the newest taste sensation: Fried Butter.

I’ll be missing Dragon*Con (though if I was super hardcore, I’d have taken today as a personal day and spend the the afternoon in line to get in for a few hours tonite), so I leave you with 101 pictures of girls dressed like Princess Leia. Enjoy.

I’ve been quite busy with work, and swine flu. And now I have to go out of town for a wedding. I generally don’t do weddings on principal, but this is probably the last first wedding I’ll have to go to. I should be good for seven years or so until the next round starts up.

Anyhoo, if nothing else comes up today, this may have to tide you through the long weekend.