New Ben Folds record comes out this week.

… wait for it… Intuit QuickBooks!

It’s like last year’s Elf Yourself, only more marketing-y.

or go to church.

about Obama’s Mama.

(I looked for a long time for that clip from Lethal Weapon II, but couldn’t find it. You’ll know what I’m talking about, though.)

because it’s advertising. Sort of. (but not really)

According to Jesus, anyway.

So be sure to check out thearmchairquarterbacks. They make me giggle, and occasionally masturbate menacingly towards my teammates. And come Monday, tune in to the Willie Run to see what it takes to make 2 grown men sit in a can of their own bodily waste for 36 hours.

(and between you and me, I’ll bet a Coke® that next week’s ACQ features an appearance from Riskay.)

Do you have a woman you have to deal with in your life? You probably could use the PMSBuddy. It’s not foolproof, like being gay.

I heart The Venture Bros. And so do lots of other cool people. Including sexy girls. Feel free to stroll through 3,000 of them.

Including the emergency Big Macs he keeps in the freezer. I like the way he thinks.

‘Bandit’ star Reed dies at 71.

What’s next, Jesus? You gonna take William Shatner before dinner?

If you need me I’ll be playing in traffic.

Woman goes for two-fer by driving second husband with first husband’s heart to kill himself. Too.
It’s like a movie, only dumber, because it actually happened.

“That Announcer Guy” Dies.

Screw you, world.