it feels like.

Oh, who am I kidding? This is hilarious.

’100 Things to do before you die’ co-author dies at 47.

Insert joke here.

Idiot Agrees to Take Painball Shot to Throat – Watch more free videos

That is pretty cool.

That’s right, we are iblogging.

And it blows.

If it worked, the sidekick was a better piece of hardware. Oh well.

I think I’ll have myself stuffed like this at work.

Imagine that. Being honest about being trapped in a relationship with someone you don’t love. I guess it takes a man. A man with an enormous penis.

Go with God, John. Break as many of them as you can.

Sidebar: CNN officially says “it’s not you, it’s me” is bullshit.

U.S. tourist hacked to death, wife says.

Wife says.

It’s a Waffle House Wedding.

Regular PMF contributor Haley finally reveals how she gets her breath to be so magnificent.

So the wife stays home all day with the kids and the dad goes to jail. That seems fair.

Spanish basketball team poses for offensive picture.

I’m stabbing my ex-girlfriend 20 times. Duh. Famous people get to do all the cool shit.

Dozens protest at ‘Tropic Thunder’ premiere.

Sexual harassment okay as it ensures humans breed, Russian judge rules.

You can’t really argue with that kind of logic.

HotoberFest. Purchase your ticket(s).

In case you haven’t seen the oddly familiar TV spots, and the interminable theater spot, JC Penny has made the brilliant decision to sell clothes to 15-year-olds with a movie that was made before they were born.

Not to mention arrests.

Punks break into Atlanta’s big waterpark off season and turn it into a giant skate ramp.

Rough weekend for Soul Men.

“I think this President has shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter. It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen,” – John Edwards, on Bill Clinton, 1999.

And that is why I will never say anything bad about Dylan Klebold.

Also: Sean Hannity should have fun with this.

More also: Ron totally understands.

Learn More About Ronald Here

I love fireworks. I seem to always get screwed come Independence Day. It’s just not the same on TV. Another reason I have to get out of this awful town is you can’t go outside and light any old fool thing that blows up good on fire. And nobody makes things that blow up good like the Chinese.

PS, I’m moving to South Carolina. And buying cases and cases of Neighbor Haters.

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

We’ve noticed that customers who have purchased The Royal Tenenbaums (The Criterion Collection) have also purchased Frank on DVD. For this reason, you might like to know that Frank will be released on August 12, 2008. You can pre-order yours by following the link.

Good job, CNN.
I guess realizing that trusting a woman enough to commit yourself to them sexually for the rest of your life is ludicrous makes you a child molester.

I’ve always had a little man crush on Anderson, but this seals it.

Which would actually be pretty awesome.

It’s the Segway killer, from Toyota.

Somebody asked me the other day why I quit smoking. I could have said something about spite, or because my mother asked me to, or any number of equally semi-accurate reasons, but I the truth was it was the only thing I still got any pleasure out of, so I figured it would be best to figure out how to not have that anymore.

It’s been 213 days since I had a cigarette, but who’s counting? It doesn’t really bother me much. Honestly, it was pretty easy. I still have half a box in my desk drawer at work, and there’s an open pack on top of my television at home. I still get the urge every once in a while, but it passes pretty quickly. Last night someone lit up next to me, and it didn’t bother me at all. The fact that it was a cute girl probably didn’t hurt. My main concern is that I don’t turn into one of those anti-smoking douchebags. If anything, I find myself encouraging people to smoke. Someone has to keep the fine habit alive. Maybe I’ll start handing them out downstairs at the Boys & Girls Club.