Oh, who am I kidding.

Viral marketing only works when the content is actually worth viralling. Comic wunderkind Judd Apatow understands this and releases some “behind the scenes” tape from his new Knocked Up movie that capitalizes on the recent Lily Tomlin I Heart Huckabees footage that burned up the internets last month. In this raw tape complete with timecode and “property of Universal” watermark, we’re to see why Arrested Development star Michael Cera is not actually the star of Knocked Up. Granted, shit like this is only amusing to people who actually appreciate Apatow’s sense of humor and were going to pay the 9 bucks to see the movie anyway, but it’s still damn funny, and was surely even more fun to make.

I’ve spent a lot of money over the years on “accessories” in what always turns out to be a futile attempt to make a woman care about me. But I never got one of these. I think maybe I’ll treat myself to something nice.

Fly, you magnificent bastard. Fly.

I thought this was fake, but apparently it’s real. REAL DELICIOUS!!

“I like party, take photos, listen and singing song, shopping, dog, ice cream, talking, watching movie, traveling, cooking, …etc!!”

I like you. I like the way your dark bangs whisp over your intoxicating almond eyes. I like how you cover your mouth when you giggle at my clumsy English that has only one word for “oscilate.” I like the mythic qualities of your supposed sexual secrets that no Western woman will ever share.

I do not, however, like your Pepsi.

We’re screwed.

I wish I’d thought of that myself. And liked little boys.

When you’re working with local governments and municipalities, make sure your comps are diverse, or you may be breaking the law. Seriously.

America’s testicles would have been 100 this week. To make up for it, now we have Oprah.

I don’t know how this is going to go over here.

I actually have a funny personal anecdote about this phenomenon that I may share one day, but until then, I find it’s more out of revenge on the good looking guys who’ve pissed them off.

This is Africa.

Watch this clearly unofficial trailer for the new Rambo movie, and you’ve probably saved yourself 10 bucks. Or wasted 4 minutes, depending on your tastes.

Leave it to Belgium to figure out how to get my name and e-mail.

is that I will not live long enough to see the day that people like you are legally obligated to have sex with people like me. Probably.

which is probably just as well.

Teachers stage fake gunman attack on sixth graders.

I’m going to try not to make a snide comment about the fact that Stephen sent me this website. Not that our man-love couldn’t handle it.

Great little video over at the super-cool Joe Rockhead blog.

There’s a lot of strange widgets on the internets. This is one of them.

I love running my fingers through high fashion.

But then I thought other people would enjoy Bruce Willis crapping down the neck of Michael Bay.

And I don’t have his e-mail.

because that’s what it is. Do branded virals work? You tell me.

AP Staff Writer for Headline of the Week.

I don’t consider myself a freak. I suppose freaks never do. I was recently called a freak. Maybe it was ‘freak’ like in the rap video way. I don’t know. But I do love chocolate.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, blaspheme.

(actually, a pretty good little Flash game)