Branded search engines are a new entry in the quest to figure out how to make money with the internets. Naturally, the first is one from Kevin.

Finally, the veil is lifted, and we get to see the true face of pain.

Good YouTube link here for WMV haters.

In case you missed Sunday’s Simpsons, and its epic couch gag.

We’re gonna need a bigger monitor.

If you want to hear Lily Tomlin tell Dustin Hoffman to fuck off after having a meltdown filming I Heart Huckabees, here it is.

If you want to see why she had a meltdown, watch director David Russell throw a chair at her while Jason Schwartzman decides it’s a good time to check out what’s on the craft service table here.

Carlos Mencia Stealing Jokes From Cosby – Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

These things write themselves. I do find it a little hypocritical that I can kill an animal with the intent to eat it, but poor Bryan can’t kill it with the intent to have sex with it. It’s a slippery slope, people. The thought police are coming.

When the hot blonde at work says she’s never heard of Lulu, and doesn’t recognize To Sir, With Love when I play it for her, that’s one thing. But when Simon Cowell says he’s “not familiar” with Gerry & the Pacemakers’ Don’t let the sun catch you crying, his opinion officially becomes moot.

There’s still some hope for television when local producers don’t know any better than to put someone like him on live TV.

I know Stephen won’t get these because they weren’t designed by Dean Kamen. That and they’re retarded. But don’t come crying to me when you get the bird flu.

Popular internet magazine Slate reviews the badassest sandal epic ever and takes it to task for being, um, too good? Or something. I don’t know. I was too busy hating dark, ugly, mystical, physically challenged homos to get through it. GO SPARTA!!!

More interesting but no more pointless are the historical inaccuracies pounced on by an acedemic who forgot it was a movie written by the guy who reinvented Batman. (sorry for the embedded audio)

The question isn’t why. The question is why not?

NSFW-ish, too

One of the few 24k gold discs I was ever spastic enough to purchase, Boston’s eponymous debut album got me through quite a few tough times. Lead singer Brad Delp is now gone, off to that multi-colored starship in the sky. Inventor/songwriter/wunderkind Tom Scholz is usually who you think of when you think of Boston, but it was Brad’s huge voice that made them more than just another band out of Boston. You will be missed.

Former Governor Zell Miller explains why there’s a dire shortage of military-minded young people. And crack heads. And muggers. And welfare vampires. Or maybe just military-minded young people.

I’ve been praising the otherworldly crazy delicious Ghetto Burger from Ann’s Snack Bar to anybody who’ll listen for some time now. Usually I’ll know it’s not even worth the effort to explain if the person says they love The Vortex becuase that’s what Creative Loafing says. But now there’s proof positive that I’m not crazy. None other than the Wall Street Journal concludes that it is the best burger in America. I recently opened the eyes of some Ann’s virgins, and I think it’s safe to say that she has some new fans. While I can testify that the close-to-a-pound of beef, bacon, cheese, chili, lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, mustard & mayo masterpiece will have a profound effect on you, pixies and unicorns may not appear for everyone. It’s possible Allister added some “secret ingredients” for that.

Seriously. It’s a good idea.

And so it begins.

Cue up the Pink Floyd and take a trip down the rabbit hole.

It’s the campaign that keeps on giving.
Because that’s what Jesus would do.

Moose: 1 Helicopter: 0

Tomorrow’s the big day. March 4th. Professional Mind Declutterer Kathy Paauw, author of the Paauwerfully Organized Newsletter, thinks so much of this ingenious holiday that she’s included it as one of her ”Paauwer Tools.” A day to realize your dreams and give them the attention they deserve. I don’t know who came up with it, but I’m with Kathy – this thing is going places. As right minded people with dreams of famillionairitude, we should get behind the massive grass roots groundswell that is March Forth before some totally random corporate entity trademarks it. Because nothing says, “I wholeheartedly believe in the altruistic importance and validity of this culture-changing idea” like selling it to an outsource HR company.

So get out there and grab life by the horns! You can thank me and send me a million dollars later. I, for one, will be taking on the day figuring out how to sell mutual funds to baby boomers. Huzzah!

When something’s this badass, you don’t really need a clever title.

Use this chart to see if you’re up to watching this.

If there’s one thing ferret owners love more than ferrets, it’s ferrets that share their passion for the occult. The only way this could be better is if it came with a miniature Vespa for your ferret to ride on and a Moving Pictures 8-track.