There’s been a lot of talk about K-Fed’s Nationwide commercial. Like, “Why would I want to buy insurance from someone who puts K-Fed in a commercial?” and “I hate everything about him and what he stands for. What’s Allstate’s number?” Well, now the restaurant industry is upset because it wouldn’t be a funny spot if somebody didn’t get pissed off. The National Restaurant Association says the ad, which shows Federline daydreaming out the life he used to lead while filipping burgers “leaves the impression that working in a restaurant is demeaning and unpleasant.” Unlike banging Britney Spears and driving free Ferraris.

The web is up in creepy chicken-skin arms over the George Romero homage to pop star Orville Redenbacher. I’m sure that the uproar is really going to hurt sales. And Crispin’s income. And their hotness. Show your protest by watching it over and over again, and then talking about it with all your friends. That’ll show them. And whatever you do, don’t Eat it.

I’m getting used to women realizing they can do better. The truth is, most of them can. They can do a lot worse, too. Probably.

I’ve got a good rant that goes with this, but I don’t care about you people enough to type that much.

Watch those shows you missed without having to pay iTunes. Didn’t see last night’s nuclear attack on 24? Oh, sorry. Did I spoil it for you? Well, watch it, The Office, or pretty much anything the kids are into here.

Jack Valenti says Eat it.

If the next time you see me I look really good, you may want to pass on the tidbits.

Seriously. Don’t Eat it.

Adult Swim has another winner on its hands with its first live action entry into the lineup.

Sid & Marty say Eat it.

Jimmy’s new book causes a bunch of people with interesting last names to quit his non-profit humanitarian center.
Moses says Eat it.

Someone has taken the time to compress the best part of every CSI: Miami into one delicious 7 minute Carusogasm – the opening squint/put on sunglasses/look off into distance/fade into Roger Daltrey sequence.

Joe Esterhaus says Eat it.

Next Friday, Jan. 19th, Fox’s Trading Spouses does the amazing. Marguerite Perin, the original God Warrior, returns to swap places again and move into the house of “an environmentally conscious and politically active black couple in Florida.” I guess she ran out of tainted money. If you believe in Jesus, you’re welcome to go back in time and relive the magic.
Psychics say Eat it.

Between the custom toilet paper and this, I’m putting one hell of a package together. Be sure to investigate the “custom option.”

[NSFW in spirit]

Eat it.

I can become a supervillain after all. I’ve found my Fortress of Despair. Now I just need the money to buy it.
Eat it, James Bond.

I knew I should have stuck with that broadcast production major.
Eat it.

State of Hope, gangsta chicas, and their moms.
Eat it.

…you’re still going to get raped.
Eat it.

and terrifying. Watch An Inconvenient Truth, on the medium he invented.
Yes, it’s the whole movie.
Eat it.

When you’re in a funk, nothing feels better than inserting the word ‘pants’ into Star Wars lines. 245 times. Plus mine, which is the best, makes 246. Eat it.

Shoot first, check for brains later.

Look Back in Anger with the guy who plays Stephen Colbert’s black friend Alan.

In honor of today’s big iPhone announcement, which I’m not even going to bother linking to as you’ve no doubt seen enough of it to make your eyes bleed, look back on this slightly out-of-date documentary on the music player that should never have been a success, featuring talking head Douglas Atkin: planner, author, Englishman.

The new list of the top brands is out, and somehow, Extreme Makeover Home Edition dropped out of the top ten.

‘Tigger’ accused of smacking young fan.

So 2007 is shaping up to suck pretty hard. The first week has pretty much been one giant box of crap on every front. The perfect shit storm. Even my 401k is looking like a waste of time. The dangerous thing about complaining is that it can always get worse. It’s not like I’m Burt Bacharach. Poor guy.

I’ve managed to not go off on anybody too hard, and though I suspect a few account executives would disagree, the truth is they don’t know what going off is. But the year is young.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Jesus must be looking out for my cholesterol, because I’m pretty sure I’ll never eat another corndog.

P.S. also managed to not be this guy, mostly because I’m too busy watching everything ever. but again, the year is young.