What have we learned?

1) Never criticize your wife for mistakes she makes

2) Never get married.

The natural way to sit on the toilet can help to heal constipation and
hemorrhoids. Also, may help with this.

Sure it is. I can’t imagine him staring at himself in the mirror and being so disgusted with himself he starts wailing on it. Sure.

Motocross expert and Athens music scene stalwart Todd Ploharski (shameless plug and good wishes for his Atlanta invasion) passes on this bit of sureal celebreality. A friend of Todd’s is apparently some sort of street performer, and while entertaining the crowds of Breckenridge, noticed a familar face in the crowd.

Read more and see a video here.

Quote: “That is horrifying. I can’t begin to understand what you were thinking.”

Check, please.

The stories on Richard Morin’s Washington Post column get progressively eye popping as you read. First we begin with the study that shows Jon Stewart discourages voting, then on to Democrats’ racism (“But for Democrats, race mattered — and in a disturbing way.” – is there a not disturbing way?), then onto the one-legged Russian chick from The Sopranos being a good role model. I think.

Oh, and let’s not forget how an unhappy marriage is worse for you than smoking.

Interview with Dustin Diamond, regarding his home woes, and, um, his enormous peener. After your apoplectic seizures stop head over to ScrewScreech.com.

New study says Social Isolation Growing in U.S.

It seems I’m the last to catch the whole Coke and Mentos thing, but this one’s pretty cool.

Hollywood uber-producer Robert Evans is back on the market, ladies.

In what I’m sure isn’t a reference to my own malfunctions, a conscientious reader pointed me towards the sad story of “Chick” Lennon, who received $400,000 for having a huge boner.

Saturday brings a special event to Atlanta – the regional finals for the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Go to the zoo, watch a monkey fling his poo, then watch somethng disgusting.

Most of the time, dumb tabloid stories are just fanciful conjecture about people we want to be, and totally unbelievable. The thing is, this is just crazy, and twatty, enough to be true.

It’s Hitler cats! The blog dedicated to cats that look like Hitler.

That’s what I hate about Atlanta… there just aren’t enough Southern Baptist rituals where an old dude sucks on a baby’s bloody penis. That is hard-core Jewish.

Can you tell the difference between Ann Coulter and Hitler?

New trailer for Talladega Nights.

I knew Comcast was awesome when they came to hook up my HD cable and the guy told me it probably wasn’t going to work. I think this is the same guy.

Penis Pump Trial On Hold. This story has been around for some time, and it’s just now not going to trial. Or something. It’s another case of an unattractive man in power being singled out. At least that’s my take on it.

Superman hype has reached a frothy head, so here’s a spiffy little piece showing how they got that ornery Brando to say whatever they wanted.

Leslie answers the age old question: who watches the camel toads?

A Toronto performance artist is opening a bar where she’ll serve her own breast milk. Pays Joey Reiman $1 million for the name.

Jesus wants you to do great, great, potentially painful things.

NSFW, because, um, it’s about FISTING

A show I never saw gets cancelled. And Connie Chung goes absolutely batshit crazy.

In case you missed the eleventeen hundred rebroadcasts, Gnarls Barkley + Star Wars, MTV style.

Latest iPod must-have – the iCarta toilet paper holder.

That teenage girl who ran off to Israel to meet her MySpace boyfriend was going to marry him, and the dude’s mother says the wedding’s still on.

I’m not sure if this spot conveys how awful mornings are, how awful morning people are, or just how awful Folger’s is.

Do you like t-shirts? Do you like Screech? Do you want to make sure he stays in a nicer house than you? Get your Dshirt, and help him stick it to the man.