This seems to be a clip from some British documentary about peeners. The name of the film is The Perfect Penis, but I imagine some ladies might disagree. Some may not. (insanely NSFW)
Archive for March, 2006
New skin to help protect your iPod, and possibly make sure nobody ever talks to you again. (NSFW, in spirit)
So I got rear ended this morning for the second time in 6 months within about 500 yards of the same place as last time. I’m sitting there on Freedom Parkway around 9:15, which is backed up like a parking lot, and some dumb lady slams right into me doing about 30. She never touched her brakes. The force of the impact knocked my rear view mirror right off my windshield, and my face right into my steering wheel. The absolute worst place to have car trouble, because there’s no place to pull over, and no way to get off. She follows me into the Manuel’s lot, gets out of her car, and says, quote, “I’m so sorry. I was multitasking.”
Through some miracle of modern times, there was neither a mark on my car, nor a divot in her face shaped like my fist.
Texas woman buys DVD player at Wal-Mart so kids can watch Bambi II but doesn’t want to tell you what she really got. Counseling ensues.
I can’t wait for Pat Robertson to spin this study.
“Researchers emphasized their work does not address whether God exists.”
Grups are taking over. Hell, we already have. Forget Gen X. Everybody I know is a Grup.
The mysteries of menstruation explained by Walt Disney.
Georgia schools may soon sneak the Bible in through the back door as a mandatory literature study course, using it as the textbook. Thank God. But not Allah.
Canadian motorist arrested for drunk driving gets off because he suffers from a mental illness that causes him to believe female celebrities control his actions. Which we all suffer from a little bit, if by “actions” they mean “chronically masturbate and cry yourself to sleep” and by “celebrities” they mean “that check out girl at Home Depot.”
Probably the nail in the Arrested Development coffin, as creator Mich Hurwitz decides not to stay with the show even if Showtime picks it up.
The downside of being Muslim: everyone thinks you’re a terrorist. The upside: mumbling “divorce” three times in your sleep constitutes actually divorcing.
Brain mapping expert tests the Superbowl ads, and declares the FedEx spot with the smashed caveman as winner. I think.
The scene looks funny and has been described as funny by lots of people, but your amygdala still perceives it as threatening.
If you’ve got 80 minutes to spare and a fast internet connection, check out this great conspiracy film about September 11th. It opens with a clip of Hunter Thompson explaining that no journalism ever gets any story 100% right, and I can assure you that’s not the peyote talking. There’s more than a few few holes in it, and I wouldn’t believe them any more than I’d believe Condi (which isn’t much) but it is a great deal more disturbing and genuinely thought provoking than anything Michael Morre ever did. More info here.
Then feel free to read a scathing review of the film by another conspiracy fan who knows the U.S. government was behind the attacks, but also knows this movie has it all wrong. Plus, he doesn’t like the music.
Literate investigator discovers Rice Krispies contain beef. Raisin pie still contains raisins.
The live action Simpsons opening we all saw 2 weeks ago will be used on this Sunday’s episode.
Randy Quaid is suing the producers of Brokeback Moutain because he says they lied. Not about the movie being about dudes touching peeners. Because they said it wouldn’t make any money.
The Smoking Gun uncovers what the Vice President demands when he’s on the road. Apparently, Sierra Mist is for pussies.
I remember exactly where I was when I heard Kurt Cobain had shot himself in the face.
I don’t remember anybody saying anything about Courtney.
If you have a PS2, and you don’t have Shadow of the Colossus, you’re a dumb ass. But don’t take my word for it. It just won “Best Game” at this year’s Game Developers Choice Awards.
That’s only part of the problem with VoIP.
Going full circle, I was researching crazy manifestos for a parody piece to make something boring seem a little more fun. Because nothing says “fun” like the Unabomber. Then I found one that was only semi-crazy. It’s Bruce Mau’s Incomplete Manifesto, intended for designers specifically, but pretty good for anybody who gets paid to make the magic.
William Shatner. Born 75 years that have been better because he is with us ago today.
Holy crap, it’s only Tuesday and it feels like 5 am Friday morning, 2031. I spent 8 hours on a set today, and it was only about half the work I had to do. I was at school yammering away at students with the Ogilvie until midnight last night, even though I should have cancelled, but damn if I know how to quit him. He’s my McDreamy, and I just can’t say no to a dude that can drop Room 222 and Ginger Lynn in the same sentence. And I’ve still got about 2 months of work to do in the next 2 weeks. And I just found out today about another $4 branding spot that has to be on air June 1st.
I got one of those memory foam mattress top things the other day and it makes my bed look like a giant slice of angel food cake. My bed has replaced Marcia Cross.
There’ve been a lot of rumors floating around the last few weeks about a certain fella, and people seem to think I might know something, but I really don’t. All I know is the same stuff you do, (cough) Google (cough).
In the meantime, in the spirit of the topic, enjoy this classic clip from the Godfather himself.
Listen to 911 tape of old man who says “Get off my lawn!” With a shotgun.
The little hillbilly from Slingblade done all growed up to be a hunky hillbilly starring in the second sequel to a dumb movie that doesn’t have any of the people from the first movie. It’s The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. If you don’t know what drifting is (like li’l hillbilly, who then naturally becomes the champ of the Tokyo underground), let li’l Bow Wow explain it to you.