Congrats to Jason for the best Stewie O’Lantern I’ve seen.

Halloween has become too controversial, so schools are instituting less offensive celebrations.

Tonight saw the premiere of VH1′s latest excavation of what’s under the bottom of the barrel, But Can They Sing? Nine “celebrities” (two of which even I’ve never heard of) battle it out for five weeks, and compete for a cash prize for charity. It’s blood money. Seriously, you haven’t seen painful until you’ve seen Kim Alexis sing Faith Hill. And that includes watching Bai Ling warble her way through “Like a Virgin.” If you’re on a Windows machine, you can see what I’m talking about here. If you’re on a Mac, you can still look and try to tell me who the hell the chick with the flower in her hair is. And in case you thought Carmine Gotti might be like Mel Tillis, with a debilitating speech impediment that prevented you from understanding what he was saying when he spoke, but has a voice like an angel when he sings – he doesn’t. Still can’t understand a damn thing that comes out of the slimy bastard’s mouth. But when he sings, you just hate him even more, if that’s possible.

Still recovering from a Saturday night bowling/trivia/booze-a-thon. Schecks, Blevins and Gibsons are super fun. I can’t stop humming “Cheeseburger In Paradise” every time I pee. Boys rule at trivia, though bowling is still somewhat hit-or-miss.

List of top 100 global brands has Toyota as the #1 car brand (#9), McDonald’s as the #1 fast food (#8), and Marlboro as the only cigarette brand to make the list (#10). Of course, the #1 slot goes to Coca-Cola.

Dude’s defense at sexual assualt charge is that it wasn’t him, because darn it, he’s just too big. Schlongly speaking.

Readers of Ellegirl magazine, a teen mag I’ve never heard of, have named Axl Rose, a guy I barely remember, as “Coolest Old Person,” right behind “Grandparents.” Seriously.

Browse through some of the best ads that weren’t quite good enough. Or too good.

Pennsylvania school board member votes to include Intelligent Design in high school biology curriculum because somebody told her to. Also, “it wasn’t my job” to learn more about it.

Very odd music videos by sound alikes, including U2 doing Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes. It’s kind of strange when the Pope shows up, but then it makes perfect sense to Oprah. Check out Dave Mathews doing Frere Jacque, too.

Tap a vein and mainline some hardcore interviews with seminal figures and learn why it’s more than merely wires and lights in a box. 240 hours of footage courtesy of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. See you in a few weeks.

More movie remix madness. Jedi on Jedi action. Click on the “Download Original” tab on the top left, not the “Play Video” tab on the bottom right. Or don’t, I don’t care.

And then pump up the bass and watch Yoda dance.

Engadget columnist explains the ins & outs of Apple’s TV show download business model and why $1.99 is a bargain, at least as far as the networks are concerned. Also, how we have no one to blame but ourselves. And maybe Oreos.

Congrats to frequent PMF visitor Danny G for hitting the land of the rising sun and scoring a 新知·生活 TOPY. Or not. I’m not exactly sure what a TOPY is. Is it like a Webby? Maybe there’s a cash prize. Or maybe he’s just being stalked.

My college roommate was pretty good at pretending to be a rock star, but I don’t think he could keep up with The official US Air Guitar Championships. Mostly because is isn’t Asian.

An industrious company is pimping out T-Mobile Sidekicks with slick new paintjobs and custom lettering or logos. Dobbs – you can have any color you want except black. It is sick, and it’s all mine.

Do you like South Park? Do you like Big Trouble in Little China? Then you’ll probably like Big Trouble in Little South Park.

The guy who got off climbing into an outhouse to peek up girls’ bottoms has gotten off.

Thanks go out to Dan for ruining my appetite.

Primetime had a great show last week on the new racist sensation that’s sweeping the heartland, Prussian Blue. They’re spunky little moppets that want you to know it’s ok to love being white. They’re all over the internets now, so I figured I’d join the fun. Check out their adorable blog, where they talk about playing something called Hammerfest 2005, and their totally Hitlerific Web Site.

The early release of a sample from the song, “The Stranger,” a musical adaptation of a Rudyard Kipling poem, is causing quite a stir on the racialist music scene, and has the potential to cross over into the mainstream “alternative” rock scene.

I was not aware there was a “racialist music scene.” I feel bad for this Prussian Blue. If you’ve got 15 minutes to spare and want to claw your own eyes out, watch the clip from the show here.

Being homebound like some Sally Jessy guest, I watch a lot of TV. I caught the last 30 seconds of something the other night that my TiVo said was called DaVinci’s Inquest. From the production value it looked to be one of those Canadian action shows that they syndicate all over the world, like Highlander or… um, Highlander. There’s others, I just can’t think of any off the top of my head. I thought, “ooh. Somebody’s jumping on the DaVinci Code bandwagon and made a TV show about Papal assassins and secret societies! I might have to investigate.” So I head off to the internet to discover I was wrong.

Well, it is Canadian. There’s no mistaking that. But it doesn’t have anything to do with that book. In fact, the show’s 8 years old, and still running. It’s one of the most popular TV shows on the CBC. But it’s not some dumb actioner with mystic swords or beloinclothed Amazons. It’s a cop show. Dominic DaVinci is an ex-cop who’s now the coroner in Vancouver. It’s sort of NYPD Blue meets Quincy, except the language is a little bluer, and Quincy was never this ornery. Apparently you could say “shit” on Canadian television 2 years ago. Of course they just cut it out of the WGN version, which I have been TiVoing religiously since I found it.

Nicholas Campbell plays DaVinci. You might remember him from ‘80’s shows like The Insiders or Diamonds. No? Well, that’s the difference between you and me. Anyhoo, Nicholas has been up in his homeland making television, occasionally to venture back down into Hollywood to appear in films like Cinderella Man and Prozac Nation (though he really ought to just stick to DaVinci). Another face you might recognize is homicide detective Leo something or other, played by Donnelly Rhodes. You know, Donnelly Rhodes. What? You don’t remember the dad from Double Trouble? OK, fine, the doctor from the new Battlestar Galactica.

The show is surprisingly inventive, as Canada doesn’t have a lot of murders. They don’t have guns up there. Sure, occasionally somebody uses a hunting rifle to pop their wife, but more often than not DaVinci is looking at smotherings, stabbings or determining deaths were just weird accidents. And there’s lots of politics and interpersonal junk.

I’m looking forward to catching some episodes from season 3 & 4, where Firefly’s Jewel Staite plays DaVinci’s daughter. Yum.

Apparently, this year up in Canada, DaVinci gets a promotion to Mayor, and the show gets a name change to DaVinci’s City Hall. Down here in the USA, see DaVinci’s Inquest on WGN Superstation and also locally in Atlanta on WSB.

Creationist “Scientist” offers $250,000 to anyone who can provide empirical evidence that evolution is real. Suggests that evolution is “nothing more than a religion” and as such, he shouldn’t be “forced to pay for evolution to be taught exclusively in public schools.” Also suggests that evolutionists should “give up faith in the silly religion of evolutionism, and trust the God of the Bible (who is the Creator of this universe and will be your Judge, and mine, one day soon) to forgive you and to save you from the coming judgment on man’s sin.”

Related comedy.

You may be in the market for Whiff Fecal Deodorizer.

I don’t know what this is, because I’m not a designer (though it seems to me “Good Design” ought to make it clear what the hell it is, but like I said, I’m not a designer…), but I suspect some of my more arty readers will find something interesting about BAD DESIGN KILLS. Enjoy.

The Houston Voice has outed newscasters Anderson Cooper and Shepard Smith as teh gay. Somebody told me Anderson was gay a while back, but she was wasted, so I thought she might be talking about Jim Nabors. If I have a man crush on a gay dude, what exactly does that mean? As for Shepard, I’ve always thought he was pretty gay, but you know, not necessarily in a homosexual way.

In honor of Decatur “eatery” Mulligan’s making it in to this month’s Maxim for their Luther Burger (that would be a bacon cheeseburger served on grilled Krispy Kreme donuts), I’m looking for more outrageous sandwich options (like Ann’s Ghettoburger or Mulligan’s other claim to fame, the Hamdog). To start things off, here’s one Michigan State fan’s attempt at a 30,000 calorie grinder. To be fair, it is over 6 pounds.

Looking for something to stick on that iPod besides the new Ashlee Simpson CD? Check out Stanford iTunes, designed mostly for students and alums, but also includes lectures and other interesting things anybody can download for free. Mmmmm… learny.

The White House has ordered The Onion to stop using the Presidential Seal on its website.

“It takes a screw and a nut.” Read more about the Reverend who blames lesbianism on the fact that women are starting to make more money than men here.

Ho-Ho’s do in fact go bad. They may look fine, but they taste like used Band-Aids and battery acid. You almost can’t swallow them.