One of my favorite phenomena of the modern age is the honesty the internet allows people, and the secrets that are exposed and allowed to really show people for what they are. I’ve always found the hypocrisy of women who claim to be so much deeper than their superficial male counterparts to be laughable, and I feel bad that one allows the curtain to be raised, she’s more likely to be attacked than applauded. The new Duke F-List girl is getting a lot of buzz, and as depressing as her treatise is, at least she’s honest. It also explains why I’ve never had a real girlfriend.
It never ceases to amaze me how programmed we are to accept the mammoth female ego and its ability to indict others for their own shortcomings. This particular woman, who is given a forum on CNN for some reason, seems to think everybody gives a shit what she drinks, and that they think less of her because she chooses to abstain form alcohol. Despite the fact she clearly thinks she’s better than them. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to think as highly of myself as a drunk woman.
A day doesn’t go by that I’m not reminded that I’m an idiot and failing miserably in my chosen profession because I’m not a social media guru. I’m told that everyone is clamoring for it. After all, it’s chock full of added value like this:
“They like to hang out. A lot of them drink beer and wear backwards baseball caps. A lot of them drive SUVs and listen to Dave Matthews Band.” They’re Bros Icing Bros. And now they’re famous.
This is why the first thing I ask a woman when I meet her is “Are you an alcoholic?” Then it’s, “Do you like Bruce Springsteen?” And now I have to add, “How much do you like Bruce Springsteen?”
True story, actually. They don’t care for it, but I’ll be damned if I go down that road again. That Thunder Road. Yeah. I said it. I don’t give a shit.
Eating sweets may make you feel less stressed out temporarily. “Eating sugars and starches has an opiate-like effect on the brain,” Northrup says.“It dulls the pain for a while.”
Achievable ones, anyway. I don’t really have the bone structure to make a go of something like this, but if I did, I think it would be fun to try. As for this lady, I think 71 stone is pretty weak. Why not go for 100 stone?
Truth is stranger than fiction. Unless you’re trying to keep some lesbians from adopting a kid, and they’re the super cute lipstick-y kind of lesbians. Then you have to concoct some weird shit.
Unless, of course, you’re talking about disciplining a kid.
Then it’s “OH NO YOU DI INT!”
Welcome to where you go to jail for a year for doing the right thing. Welcome to Crazytown.
Had I had the opportunity to have children, I’d like to think I’d have started with something simpler, like a pierced scrotum, or maybe just a bone through their noses, but I guess tattoos are cool, too.
“…physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets;”
That’s just one of the points of the 2nd place winning Middle School level Creation Science Fair project, “Women Were Designed For Homemaking.” This whole article is something straight out of The Onion, but it’s all real. I implore you to read all the entries, including honorable mentions, like “Rocks Can’t Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?”
As my last girlfriend explained, I’m not the kind of person a woman wants to spend her life with, so I don’t really have to worry about this sort of thing. But sadly, there are men out there with women calling 911 because they won’t marry them. Cads.
