Do you come to Dragon*Con often?

So the movie Machete is famous for being based on a joke in a movie based on a joke based on a genre that’s generally considered a joke. What’s even more interesting is the philosophical questions it raises based on Jessica Alba’s side boob.

People often say, “Devon, why do you hate being ugly? Lots of ugly people lead very successful, fulfilled lives. Some of them even do it in the public eye, despite their physical shortcomings. Some even capitalize on them.”

Case closed.

One of my favorite phenomena of the modern age is the honesty the internet allows people, and the secrets that are exposed and allowed to really show people for what they are. I’ve always found the hypocrisy of women who claim to be so much deeper than their superficial male counterparts to be laughable, and I feel bad that one allows the curtain to be raised, she’s more likely to be attacked than applauded. The new Duke F-List girl is getting a lot of buzz, and as depressing as her treatise is, at least she’s honest. It also explains why I’ve never had a real girlfriend.

There’s always scooters laying around an ad agency. Eventually, some dummy tries to ride it like a skateboard really fast and then gets a rug burn so bad he can’t sleep in his sleeping bag on the camping trip he’d been planning for weeks, and then catches a really bad cold. Or something similarly hypothetical.

But no one ever does this.

This is a fan film released in time for the big Celebration V last week. It’s actually not bad. It’s not great, but it’s not bad. It looks really good, anyway. It’s 20 minutes long, and it’s only the first half, and I highly recommend going full screen on it.

A Light in the Darkness – Part One from A Light in the Darkness on Vimeo.

“Since 2006, one out of every 17 novels bought in the United States was written by James Patterson.”

Holy shit.

Are you a Mad Men fan? Are you fan enough to be watching This Week In Mad Men? The verdict’s still out for me.

Because everything is advertising now, K-Swiss is craftily courting the liberal elite Jewish Hollywood crowd via hilarious viral videos. Because they buy the shit out of cross trainers.

Kenny powered microsite here.

You worth my while.
You Rambo musical.
I like you style.

This is like every “relationship” I’ve ever had crammed in to three minutes. I’m almost old enough that I’m off the table for any woman, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it a little.

Saturday nights. As I’m not the sort of person a woman wants to be with, at least as far as my last “girlfriend’s” diary explained, I need to resign myself to other things. Like documentaries.

Never a “good” idea, but now that I’m too old to be much of anything but a bald Andy Rooney, I’m not even going to bother trying anymore. Cruising youtube, I came across this video of a woman who likes to sing. She has a rather large following apparently, and it’s little wonder why. As I watch it, however, I can’t stop giggling. I hate that I live in a world where I want to piss on earnestness. And boobs.

Tarantino? Coppola? No. These quizes are making me more depressed than the transgendered ladies they keep matching me with.

Well, sure, when you describe it THAT way, it just makes me want to fucking DANCE.

The un-autotuned version is worth seeing, too.

There may or may not be magnets involved.

Oprah is giving away TV shows now. Something tell me most of what passes for Oprah-friendly fare on her new network isn’t going to have a lot of appeal, but I would totally watch this guy’s show. And not just because he has the sexiest of palsies.

This is another of my favorite things I saw this week. Clearly, this is one brand that understands what the digital realm can and cannot do. And their app is very good, too.

Might actually be Whitney Huston. Not sure. I do know it’s the best thing I saw all day, maybe all week. Watch the whole thing.

When I was a child, I didn’t have any neighbor kids to play with, or brothers or sisters, so I often had to enlist my mother when I required a partner in fun. Board games were difficult to get any face time, because they took so long, and Monopoly was a fierce offender in the time suck category. My mother always loathed hearing that I wanted to break out the Monopoly board. If I had been able to play and entire game in 21 seconds, she’d probably been ok with it.

This makes all my holes pucker. That is all.

First Arnold, now Blanche. Has anyone seen Mark Linn-Baker lately? Anyway, in case anyone is wonder about the cultural significance of Rue McClanahan and her golden sisters, behold the trailer for the forthcoming Golden Girls porno. (sadly, totally safe to watch)

On a related note (notes?), if my college roommate had seen this girl on YouTube, I never would have heard the end of it. But then, if the internet had been invented back then, I’d never have left my room.

So much potential. Such a terrible, terrible, terrible trailer.

Some people get wasted and surly. Some people get wasted and get sick. Some people get wasted and tell you you have a stupid job and give lousy Christmas presents. But this guy just has some trouble with his sandals.

It was a late night, drinking, eating fried foods, listening to women complain about the cute boys not in their lives. I need to work off some of this steam. This Teen Steam.

This nerdy girl would not give me the time of day.

So that’s a website, now. Awesome.

The weather finally turned in Atlanta today, and there’s a lot of people running around in their shorts and sandals. So we should probably be sure we’re being safe out there.