World Tour is coming. bitches!

October 5th, 2008

SNL’s buried treasure

October 5th, 2008

Everyone else will be talking about Tina Fey, or if you’re cool, Wiig’s tiny hands. But I expect alot from Kristin. I gave up on Samberg a long time ago, but this is gold.

Hotobering

October 4th, 2008

Really just an excuse to play with the iPhone.

D’uh!!

October 2nd, 2008

I’m curious to see if the spin on Homer Simpson voting for Obama will be “liberal Hollywood slamming McCain” or “America’s Dumbass falling for Obama.”

Kung-Fu Election

October 2nd, 2008

Just play it. No matter what your politics, you can’t deny how awesome a hockey stick shotgun would be.

Hotoberfest on the Hot-rizon

October 2nd, 2008

Only two more days until the big Hotoberfest festival. Get your tickets and support the sustainability of the Earth. Or beer. Celebrate beer. Take your pick.

Enter Sandman

October 1st, 2008

Halloween comes a month early for Neil Gaiman fans, as he reads a chapter a day of his new book, The Graveyard Book. It’s a bit of a tough decision, as he is quite the spooky goth/leather clad sexy lit guy dramatic narrator, but you’re giving up Dave McKean’s illustrations. Just call me Fox News.

A “Quarter Pounding?” Really?

October 1st, 2008

Of course, there’s no excuse to pop a girl in the mouth. Or is there?

Kids today have no respect for their elders. Sometimes they just need a swift kick in the McRibs®. (See! I can do it, too!)

Underneath the barrel

October 1st, 2008

Seriously, this is straight up pornography. So if you don’t want to see pornography, move along. I’m not kidding. It’s video of a man and a woman engaging in sexual intercourse. Not particularly graphic. There is some penis. I just want to have full disclosure here. Obviously, NSFW. Also obvious - some sort of multi-layered Second Amendment pun I’m too dumbfounded to come up with. But I promise you, you will have a new catch phrase.

Hillbillies are fun

October 1st, 2008

My other blog

October 1st, 2008

Women should submit their applications early and often. Emphasis on submit.

Confused

October 1st, 2008

I think this is supposed to be funny, but I really don’t see the big deal about making women pay for their own rape kits. I mean, I’m certainly not paying for it. You go, VPILF!

“Drink it… that’s it…”

October 1st, 2008

Show your pride in the millennia-old tradition of “helping” the fairer sex with this extremely classy bronze statue.

Get in line now

September 28th, 2008

New Ben Folds record comes out this week.

The Jingle Generator from…

September 26th, 2008

… wait for it… Intuit QuickBooks!

It’s like last year’s Elf Yourself, only more marketing-y.

Why I don’t dance

September 25th, 2008

or go to church.

Learn the truth

September 25th, 2008

about Obama’s Mama.

(I looked for a long time for that clip from Lethal Weapon II, but couldn’t find it. You’ll know what I’m talking about, though.)

It’s safe for work

September 25th, 2008

because it’s advertising. Sort of. (but not really)

Meow

September 24th, 2008

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

‘Puberty’ is age of sexual consent

September 23rd, 2008

According to Jesus, anyway.

Football’s back!

September 19th, 2008

So be sure to check out thearmchairquarterbacks. They make me giggle, and occasionally masturbate menacingly towards my teammates. And come Monday, tune in to the Willie Run to see what it takes to make 2 grown men sit in a can of their own bodily waste for 36 hours.

(and between you and me, I’ll bet a Coke® that next week’s ACQ features an appearance from Riskay.)

Knowledge is power

September 19th, 2008

Do you have a woman you have to deal with in your life? You probably could use the PMSBuddy. It’s not foolproof, like being gay.

This is what D*Con is all about…

September 19th, 2008

I heart The Venture Bros. And so do lots of other cool people. Including sexy girls. Feel free to stroll through 3,000 of them.

Man eats 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years

September 10th, 2008

Including the emergency Big Macs he keeps in the freezer. I like the way he thinks.

Stand Up

September 5th, 2008

WTF?

September 2nd, 2008

‘Bandit’ star Reed dies at 71.

What’s next, Jesus? You gonna take William Shatner before dinner?

If you need me I’ll be playing in traffic.

2 Suicide Victims Shared Same Heart, awful, awful wife.

September 2nd, 2008

Woman goes for two-fer by driving second husband with first husband’s heart to kill himself. Too.
It’s like a movie, only dumber, because it actually happened.

Sadness in my voice

September 2nd, 2008

“That Announcer Guy” Dies.

Screw you, world.

I wonder what

August 31st, 2008

it feels like.

Torn

August 29th, 2008

Oh, who am I kidding? This is hilarious.