There’s a lot of finger-pointing at this ad as the death knell of modern civilization. Personally, I think that came a long time ago, but whatevs. I just wish spots like these were real. And as I get older, the tagline becomes more and more believable.
As many times as this thing’s been trotted out for everything from the Superbowl to The Orange Box, the Michael Jackson version is one of the better ones.
about a television show that only lasted 2.5 seasons.
Because it was groundbreaking. And awesome.
You just can’t deny their genius. I would say NSFW (maybe? Explosive bleeding from buttholes?), but I don’t know what to make of it.
And I was wondering what the makers of Tokyo Gore Police were up to.
Quick endorsement here… I don’t have a huge sweet tooth… I’d rather have a taco than a candy bar. But I do enjoy a few sweet things. I loves me some donuts, as I’ve said before, and I do like the occasional scoop of good ice cream. And while their frozen yogurt is very good (and hard to find), if you want to splurge a little I highly recommend Häagen-Dazs® Five. Five ingredients, and lower fat than their regular ice cream, and it’s FRICKIN’ AWESOME.
(and yes, I do like chocolate covered bacon)
Do you think you might want to sell it one day?
Is it a piece of crap? You’re screwed.
Is it really nice? You’re screwed.
Either way, one little known fact about the “Supergreen EarthSaving Whaleloving Precious Owl Cap and Trade Bill For Change We Can Believe Will Give Me A Few Dollars For The Bus Because My Family Is In Stone Mountain And My Tools Were In My Truck And I Need Some Gas For Some Food” that the House passed today not only sets a national building code for all new construction, it also requires your existing home to pass these same new codes when you sell it. So have fun building those sea walls in Kansas, while I’m busy reinforcing my roof in Atlanta to hold 4 feet of snow.
(p.s. call your representative now and tell him to suck one)
Joe Jackson, who’s been officially accused by one daughter of chronically molesting her, and rumored to have done a lot of other really awful shit by all sorts of other people, not the least of which is riding the coattails of any of his talented kids, makes quite the creepy ass of himself at a press conference for Michael.
At least the organizers of the sport’s most prestigious tournament don’t have any qualms about admitting they put the pretty ladies front and center.
The late great pitchman Billy Mays on Conan. And it’s nice to see, even at the old age of 50, he had a great attitude.
If only there were more jobs out there that could make you cry in a good way.
You knew it was coming.
Also, need that poster.
So it was quite a day. It didn’t take long for the shock to wear off. The intertubes filled up pretty quickly with the expected reactions. The Facebook and the Tweeter esploded. My own personal experience included many people heartbroken at the silencing of their childhood soundtrack - people for who Michael Jackson was like an angel whose voice and rhythms filled their memories like his posters had filled their lockers and his cassettes and albums filled their rumpus rooms and Datsun b210s. And then there were the folks who were thrilled that another baby raper had diddled his last Cub Scout with his bony white fingers. I thoroughly expected and understood (and to a certain extent agreed with) both of those reactions.
But you know what I kept hearing over and over again by our esteemed talking heads and media mavens that did surprise me? The surprise. And it wasn’t the righteous indignation and shock of the child advocates calling for a national holiday – like I said, I understand that reaction. No, I’m talking about the “isn’t it interesting” comments from people who think they’re bringing something to the table by pointing out that the worm had turned now that he’s gone. The people who think they’re possibly exposing some radical new conspiracy that in death, this man was being celebrated despite the constant ridicule and possibly well-deserved persecution that had hounded him for years.
“I just find it odd that we’re all fawning over him…” Really? You find it odd that the premature death of one of the most famous global figures of the last century has caused some fawning?
“I just want to point out, if you or me had been accused of the stuff he was accused of, we’d be in jail.” Really. That’s insight? The fact that the guy worth billions may have gotten some preferential treatment is something we need to be made aware of? (yes, he had lousy, bloodsucking accountants and apparently was $400 million in debt, but give me the rights to Thriller and a few years of compounded interest and we’ll be fine)
Who doesn’t know that famous, beautiful, wealthy, and in his case, incredibly talented people get a pass in this world, and it’s exponential. Jesus. O.J. decapitated two people and walked away. O.J. f’ing Simpson. By those standards, we should have been leaving a fresh little boy at the gates of Neverland Ranch every Saturday night like virgins on Monster Island and been grateful that’s all he wanted.
One of the few people who was clearly in a position to say something worth listening to (at least about Michael Jackson, if not much else) was his ex-wife, who certainly understands the pain of not having a normal childhood, or probably how to have a normal relationship with another (normal) person.
Studies show women who own their own homes weigh 12 pounds more than their renting counterparts.
Nice collection of verbal gaffes from great minds.
I never would have guessed Abercrombie & Fitch specifically hires good looking people to sell their clothes in their douchey little stores at the mall. So this chick looks like a good fit. They don’t seem to think so anymore.
Do you like the earth?
Do you like arts & crafts?
Do you like music?
Did I ask if you like beer?
Then Hotoberfest is for you. I’ve been to most of the big beer fests, and if this is anything like last year’s, it easily gets my vote for best beer festival in the Atlanta area. Best selection of beer, best management of crowd, least infestation of douchebags.
I know it’s early, and several months away, but buy your Hotoberfest ticket before Friday, and save 15 bucks off the gate price. Just put in the promo code ‘LAUNCHPROMO’ and get your all you can drink for only $20.00
And 9 out of 10 men don’t like it. What a country.
Unless you’re a Female MMA fan and want to hear an awkward bilingual interview where the reporter basically calls this kickboxer ugly (her opponent Gina Carano is crazy hot and a former American Gladiator), let it load and skip to about 4:10 and watch her choke him the F out.
The roasting of the President and the state of the union takes a decidedly more PC turn at the Radio & TV Correspondents Dinner, where the POTUS’ nerdiness is exposed. And it’s funny, too.
Sitting in a chair, feeling a good deal like Stephen Hawking.
Nice collection of tweets taking aim at Mr. Hoekstra’s unfortunate use of his brain.
I would pay a lot of money to see this bizzaro Viagra spot.
Are you interested in certain kinds of parts? I mean for your car, you perv. Maybe you should get some Lady Parts.
Pizza Hut is changing its name. Because they’re super healthy now, what with a whole wheat crust and natural tomato sauce, and kids don’t like to text “Pizza.”
If you want a job in Montana, you may need to clean up your profile on taintpuncher.com.
In the city where our Real Housewives get evicted and drug dealers drive BMW’s, I really shouldn’t be surprised that we’ve leased our pandas and they’re about to get repo’d.
Only the French would use a mime to sell a missile defense system.
New York has the best Craigslist pool. Even nerds have a crack at the good life.