What? It’s totally scientific and arty. It is the New York Times.

Do yourself a favor and watch the HD version full screen.

This is a fan film released in time for the big Celebration V last week. It’s actually not bad. It’s not great, but it’s not bad. It looks really good, anyway. It’s 20 minutes long, and it’s only the first half, and I highly recommend going full screen on it.

A Light in the Darkness – Part One from A Light in the Darkness on Vimeo.

“Since 2006, one out of every 17 novels bought in the United States was written by James Patterson.”

Holy shit.

A day doesn’t go by that I’m not reminded that I’m an idiot and failing miserably in my chosen profession because I’m not a social media guru. I’m told that everyone is clamoring for it. After all, it’s chock full of added value like this:

This makes Justin Beiber sound awesome.

It is what it says.

Are you a Mad Men fan? Are you fan enough to be watching This Week In Mad Men? The verdict’s still out for me.

It’s a train.

I have a feeling this is what my day is going to be like tomorrow.

Because everything is advertising now, K-Swiss is craftily courting the liberal elite Jewish Hollywood crowd via hilarious viral videos. Because they buy the shit out of cross trainers.

Kenny powered microsite here.

Learn all about this completely real candidate for the highest office in our most alcoholiest state right here.

After spending quite a few extra minutes and strained shoulders the last few trips trying to determine if I am grabbing the right suitcase off the belt, I really want one of these stickers. I just can’t decide which one.

There are many others like it, but this one is mine.

You worth my while.
You Rambo musical.
I like you style.

This is like every “relationship” I’ve ever had crammed in to three minutes. I’m almost old enough that I’m off the table for any woman, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to it a little.

Saturday nights. As I’m not the sort of person a woman wants to be with, at least as far as my last “girlfriend’s” diary explained, I need to resign myself to other things. Like documentaries.

Never a “good” idea, but now that I’m too old to be much of anything but a bald Andy Rooney, I’m not even going to bother trying anymore. Cruising youtube, I came across this video of a woman who likes to sing. She has a rather large following apparently, and it’s little wonder why. As I watch it, however, I can’t stop giggling. I hate that I live in a world where I want to piss on earnestness. And boobs.

Tarantino? Coppola? No. These quizes are making me more depressed than the transgendered ladies they keep matching me with.